Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Randomize
