This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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