I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
