You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
