I didn't shave. On purpose
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Randomize
