I wanna bring you to show and tell
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
