At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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