I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
