her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
you are never too drunk for berry picking
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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