i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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