yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
We smell like vodka and hangover
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
