The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
Randomize
