i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
