i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Randomize
