I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
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