Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
