somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
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