yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Randomize
