I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I have post one night stand depression
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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