Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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