do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
I could have mohawked her pubes.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
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