All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
