i would punch a child for taco bell
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
You need Xanax blowdarts
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
