they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
