where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
You're earring is so big in my mouth
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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