Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
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