I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Randomize