Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Randomize
