do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
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