Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
