you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
