I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
