Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
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