in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Randomize
