i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
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