are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Who put my cat in the fridge?
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
