Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Randomize