I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Randomize
