Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
