@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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