are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize