I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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