Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
You took a bar mat shot.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
