Don't you send me to vm
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Randomize