We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize
