The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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