Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Randomize
