South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
