I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
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