I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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