we're chasing vodka with high fives
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
they're like a gay fantastic four
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
