Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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