im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Randomize
