I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
