..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
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