do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
