So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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