I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Omg I joined a choir last night...
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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