I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
