Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Randomize