i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
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