I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
