Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
