so explain again why im purple
no
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Randomize
