I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
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