I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
