dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Randomize
