Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize