If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
